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The Brubakers First Dance as Husband and Wife

Six Degrees of Separation or How I Met My Ex-Husband’s Baby Mama on MySpace

This is a true story. Some of the names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty slime ball that used to be my husband.

I joined MySpace several months ago. I got the MySpace page because I have a few friends on there and it's such a popular site I figured why not? I started using the site regularly within the last couple of months. I haven't found the need to use all of the MySpace features. I've only used the IM feature once and that was with a young lady I'll call Becky.

The whole process of requesting friends on MySpace and other social networking sites is a tad weird to me. I don't recall when Becky sent me a friend request and that's really not important anyway. I do recall pictures of her with two cute young kids --- a boy and a girl.

Becky, a Caucasian female in her early 30's, appeared to be a loving mother. Both kids were adorable. The little girl, a few years younger than the boy, was Black. I didn't think anything of the little girl but she did remind me of someone.

A couple of weeks ago, I changed the background of my MySpace page to show a picture of one of the Barbie dolls in my collection. I added a few slide shows of other subjects of interest to me; I was just adding a little more of my personality to my page.

Becky sent me a message complimenting me on my page. She also indicated she thought I was a strong and smart woman. Blah…blah…blah. Thus began our e-mail exchange.

After a couple days, she asked me if I know Michael. He is her daughter's father and he told her that he has family in Miami. So I immediately get an attitude and ask if that was a joke? Since the message is in all caps, I think that it's probably my ex trying to be funny. I've dealt with crazy women and drama over a man before. I was not about to go there with this young woman. Becky indicated that she wants her daughter to know her father's side of the family and he doesn't spend time with his daughter.

Well, I know that my ex-husband had married Gayle so if this young woman had a child for him about three years ago, there must have been much drama around that child's birth. I felt so much pain for Becky because she had to go to court to prove paternity and he's still not doing his part to help with the child. Hello, I can truly relate to his irresponsible behavior which is the main reason our relationship didn't work. As Becky relayed her circumstances I began to piece together portions of conversations I've had with his family since our daughter's death.

It seems that Michael is months behind in child support, doesn't visit the child, yet he won't allow this woman's husband to adopt the little girl. What kind of crap is that? I feel as though Becky has been taken advantage of big time. He still controls her and he is a liar. I write that not out of anger alone but reality.

After our daughter's funeral, I found out about several lies he'd told his family about me. I was able to straighten out a few things with his family members, especially one of his sisters who I knew from college. There was no drama, just talk.

Becky would be the type of woman Michael would prefer to deal with because she is young and has not had the life experiences to equip her to deal with a man who tries to be manipulative.

My initial response to Becky after she inquired about Michael was stern. I accused her of being Michael playing a joke on me. There are a lot of stories about fake friends on the internet so I thought this was one of those times. I apologized after I realized she was sincere. Becky really was reaching out.

I don't know if Michael is still married to his second wife, Gayle. I don't know how he hooked up with Becky and I don't want to know the details. I do know that there is a beautiful little girl named Bianca who may be psychologically or emotionally damaged because of his absence in her life. I assured Becky that had Michael's mom still been alive, she would have welcomed Bianca to the family regardless of how the others reacted. She was a very nice woman. By the way, Bianca looks exactly like Michael's sister Linda and Linda's daughter Meagan.

What makes this situation worse is that Becky still lives in the same general area that Michael also lives in. He has a large extended family. It is a small town and Bianca doesn't need to grow up there and possibly develop a romantic relationship with someone who could be a relative. She also doesn't deserve to be taunted, ridiculed or rejected.

I will pray for that little girl not just because she is the half-sister of my daughter but because she is an innocent child who deserves to grow up happy and loved by both her parents and other family members. How anyone can mistreat a child is still beyond my understanding.

This episode was also a reminder of just how small the world is and how the internet has made it even smaller. I was totally weirded out by how I met Becky. I also know that God is in control so I'll continue to be still and try to hear him when he talks to me.

I don't know but perhaps there is some truth to the belief in Six Degrees of Separation between an individual and everyone else on this Earth. I can't tell you why I feel this way but I think my daughter wanted me to know about her sister. Had Jamila still been alive, she would have loved Bianca and we would have welcomed her also.

Without a doubt, this has been my most bizarre online experience. What's the most bizarre experience you've had online?

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