Relationships Feed

Ellen DeGeneres Marries Portia de Rossi

Rossi_degeneres_marry

Comedian-actress-talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has married actress girlfriend Portia de Rossi before a small group of friends in Beverly Hills. DeGeneres announced the wedding after the California law banning same-sex marriage was struck down.

The two have been a couple for about four years; that's a long relationship by Hollywood standards. While I wish them the best, one has to wonder if marriage will ruin an otherwise great relationship? Only time will tell.

Ellen Announces Wedding Plans

Glen Rice arrested on felony battery of man ‘Trapped in the Closet’?

Retired professional basketball player Glen Rice must have felt as though he was filming chapter 23 of R. Kelly's 'Trapped in the Closet' when he went to his estranged wife's home on Friday morning. Published reports indicate that Rice confronted Christina Fernandez Rice about other men and went to the master bedroom to find Alberto Perez crouched in the closet.

After pummeling Perez and shouting obscenities, Rice ejected him from the bedroom; Perez ran from the house and called police. Rice, who retired from basketball in 2004, turned himself in law enforcement and later bonded out. Perez required nine stitches for a cut to his forehead.

Rice played on several teams including the Miami HEAT, Charlotte Hornets, NY Knicks and LA Lakers.

Glen and Christina Rice in happier times


What I want my blogging buddies to know before 2008

Today is the last day of 2007. It has been some year. I've enjoyed the last week in that we're on break from the office and it allows me time to be with my Mom and take care of family things. Either fortunately or unfortunately, I do miss my job. That must sound crazy, but I do.

I've never worked harder in my life and that's a huge statement for folks that know me. I'm doing what I can to work smarter but some things are just not under my control. I'll do whatever is needed to get my projects finished because I really like my boss. She's so nice that I think I'm dreaming most of the time. This is our last week on break so I must complete several personal tasks over the never six days and then it's on and popping again. I guess I'm really not the housewife type because I really miss the phone calls and e-mails from my co-workers.

Two great things happened today and I'm claiming the same karma in 2008.

First of all, my mom came home today. Well, sort of. The medical transportation service didn't pick her up so my Dad brought her home for a few minutes. They said they waited more than 30 minutes. I know my dad doesn't like to wait for anything, so the transportation is sure to be the recipient of his wrath. Oh, well. I don't have the vocabulary to express what seeing my mom at home and walking did for our family. My dad took her back to the rehab center; I haven't seen him so happy in a long time. My mom may be released sooner than we thought. I know those of you who prayed had a lot to do with her progress. Thank you; I am eternally grateful.

Secondly, I finally found documentation needed that will allow my alumni association to receive a $1,000 donation. Thank you, Jesus. It had been two weeks of searching through boxes, file cabinets and briefcases to find that one little piece of paper. I'd looked in the box several times where I found it but I won't go there. Today was the deadline or we would have been SOL – sho'nuff out of luck. Needless to say, I scanned the document and saved on my computer and a couple of flash drives. I was going to make hard copies also but I thought that might be overkill; I'm trying to live a paperless life as much as possible.

Anyhoo, I'm looking forward to 2008. Thank you to everyone that has become my buddy, friend, associate and mentor since I started blogging. I am still having a blast with this and just going with the flow.

Here's to claiming an awesome 2008 for You. At the stroke of midnight, this is from me…

Smooches!


Why Did I Get Married is Good for the Soul

It's the weekend, baby! Have some fun and go see Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married I know I saw it twice last weekend and you know what, I think I'll see it again. I don't know if it's the storyline or all the hotness in the movie or what? Let me just be honest, OK?

Anyhoo, on a serious tip, Why Did I Get Married is a great opportunity to laugh, cry and for a reality check. That's what Tyler Perry movies tend to do. Perry uses the movie to preach…teach…send a message. That's what his movies are all about; if you don't like that formula, don't see the movie. The truth be told, most of us need those messages big time. I saw myself and my friends, at different points in our lives, in all of the characters. No, I'm not saying which characters or friends.

Some of the problems in the relationships between the couples seem too unreal but then I guess some folks may go through some craziness in their married lives. No doubt, Jill Scott and Tasha Smith steal the movie. Scott does a commendable job of portraying the down-trodden, Sheila. Tasha Smith played the role of Angela, the angry black woman. I dug the character in the honest moments but I am getting so sick and tired of that angry black woman character. It's hardly conceivable that a woman with such attitude could be the owner of a successful hair salon but maybe I'm the only one that feels that way.

Over all the acting was decent. The characters could have used more development to justify some of the emotional extremes and explain their actions.

Now, let me get a tad shallow…I was so feeling the wardrobe of the women, especially Janet's. Those shoes and handbags had me practically drooling --- yes, I have my weaknesses and I'm dealing with them. I even loved the furs, faux or not. Michael Jai White in his boxers on the television screen is one thing but to see him on the big screen was breathtaking. I don't care what role he plays, he will always be Spawn to me. I did not expect Lamman Rucker to be so gorgeous. Warning to women, it's just a movie. Let's not make ourselves crazy expecting Sheriff Troy to come to our rescue.

And another thing, if you can't find a babysitter, leave your children at home. The characters on the movie screen can't hear you, so why talk to them? I just don't get it. Laughing out loud is one thing, but a conversation is something else.

Let me just touch a couple of points before I end this post. The cast of this movie is mostly black but I encourage white people to see it also. The problems the couples face are universal and you can learn from the movie also. Brothers, go see the movie with your wives, girlfriends, etc. You'll enjoy the laughs and hopefully your relationships will be strengthened.


Basketball legend Shaquille O’Neal and wife Shaunie are calling it quits

The shocking announcement of the impending divorce of basketball legend Shaquille O'Neal and Shaunie Nelson O'Neal dominated the local news in Miami. Shaq is generally regarded as a good guy so the way this divorce plays out will be very interesting. With four children together and one each before marriage, even with a pre-nuptial agreement, Shaq Daddy is going to pay big time.

What is odd about this break-up is that Shaq filed for the divorce and requests a "correct accounting of Shaunie's assets." You can read more at the Miami Herald article that broke the story but it appears that Ms. Shaunie was looking out for her interests and putting a little money away for herself on the side.

If that's the case, I really can't be mad at her. She's a beautiful and obviously intelligent woman. With the divorce rate as high as it is any woman would be wise to consider how to best take care of herself and her children. Far too often women end up on the short end of the stick financially after divorce. When you know your relationship is messy, you'd be wise to plan for life after divorce.

I do hope the O'Neals divorce does not get nasty. There are six innocent children who are a part of this relationship; they don't need their family issues splattered across the internet or other media.


Tyler Perry’s New Movie May Just Make You Ask “Why Did I Get Married?”

Tyler Perry has done it again. He has taken one of his plays and staged it for the big screen. Hollywood is taking notice of what Blacks in urban areas have known for some time. Urban theater sells. And urban theater transformed to the big screen makes big money.

The remarkable story of the numerous victories of Tyler Perry and his ever present sense of humility is the manifestation of the Blessing of Jesus Christ. He has overcome poverty, emotional abuse and homelessness among other things. Almost everything this man touches turns to gold. He is changing minds with the positive messages in all of his movies.

His movies can be a bit corny and predictable but the positive messages are desperately needed. It is bothersome to me that a Black man has to dress in drag for Black people to get positive messages on relationships, education and family, but that seems to be what is working.

On October 12, Perry is scheduled to debut, "Why Did I Get Married?" starring him along with Janet Jackson, Jill Scott, Michael Jai-White and Sharon Leal. Based on what I've seen on the internet, it's the story of four couples on an annual ski vacation during which their relationships are examined. You know there's gonna be drama when one of the cast is referred as a "trick".

The storyline will make it another number one hit for Perry. The acting and fine Michael Jai White will definitely fill more than a few theater seats. If this movie improves relationships, then we're all the better for it.

I'll let you know what I think when I see it. Meanwhile, check out the trailer.

Whydidigetmarried


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Usher calls off wedding to Tameka Foster…and I should care why?

Usherandtamekafoster040307 When I heard the wedding was off between these two, I wasn't totally surprised. Whether I liked it or not, tales of their relationship made their way in the news. Now we must be subjected to speculation of the reason the nuptials were nixed.

As far as I know, no one was ill, injured or dead so the rest of us need to know why?

I am really tired of the personal lives and exploits of celebrities making their way onto news channels; I want to be informed on important issues.


Domestic violence claims the life of another woman

Tears were streaming down my face as I left the funeral home last night. I didn't care that I sobbed because no one could hear me. I couldn't be seen through the tinted windows of my car. My heart truly ached. I'd learned that the sister of a co-worker had been violently battered and left to die by her boyfriend. Her attacker casually went about his day. She suffered in silence, immobile and unable to speak for four hours before she took her last breath.

I'd learned of the incident close to midday yesterday. The rest of the day was mostly a blur after that news. I read the article in the newspaper describing this horrible man who'd been turned in to the police by his sister whom he'd call to confess the attack.

Here was yet another woman dead at the hands of her husband or boyfriend, this was just too much. These attacks were based on behavioral patterns. Women must learn to leave at the first sign of violence. No matter how much he says he's sorry or how extravagant the make-up gifts he buys --- get out…leave…runaway before it's too late. It's a mind game, don't fall for it. Even if you have children for your abuser, don't allow him to manipulate you to the point that you justify the abuse. You can leave; there are people who can help you even if you are afraid to go to a minister or family member. The life you save may be your own.

Locally, there have been at least three domestic violence cases in the media within the last two weeks. Some cases more bizarre than others but all ending in the death of a woman --- mother --- sister --- aunt. Domestic abuse is a tragedy that can be avoided. If you are a victim or you know someone who is, please get help. It may be a scary situation but there are people who can help.

Many years ago, a close friend shared her experience with an abusive husband. I was shocked that she'd tolerated such treatment. We were college educated women from upper middle-class backgrounds; we knew better. She tried to explain how it happened without her recognizing how manipulative he was. Although afraid and embarrassed, she planned her escape from him. Several months after he'd hit her the second time, she saved enough money to move out on her own. I was disappointed that she hadn't told any of us what was going on in her life but grateful that she didn't linger too long in that relationship.

From the National Domestic Violence Hotline:

Get Educated

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.

Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone.

Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.

You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner:

  • Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you.
  • Does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive.
  • Tries to isolate you from family or friends.
  • Monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with.
  • Does not want you to work.
  • Controls finances or refuses to share money.
  • Punishes you by withholding affection.
  • Expects you to ask permission.
  • Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets.
  • Humiliates you in any way.

You may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner has ever:

  • Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).
  • Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you.
  • Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
  • Scared you by driving recklessly.
  • Used a weapon to threaten or hurt you.
  • Forced you to leave your home.
  • Trapped you in your home or kept you from leaving.
  • Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.
  • Hurt your children.
  • Used physical force in sexual situations.

You may be in a sexually abusive relationship if your partner:

  • Views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles.
  • Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.
  • Wants you to dress in a sexual way.
  • Insults you in sexual ways or calls you sexual names.
  • Has ever forced or manipulated you into to having sex or performing sexual acts.
  • Held you down during sex.
  • Demanded sex when you were sick, tired or after beating you.
  • Hurt you with weapons or objects during sex.
  • Involved other people in sexual activities with you.
  • Ignored your feelings regarding sex.


If you answered 'yes' to these questions you may be in an abusive relationship; please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or your local domestic violence center to talk with someone about it.

In loving memory of:

Linda Innocent

Marrissa Lightbourne

Dr. Sheryl Shivers-Blackwell

Monica Smart


More on the Difference Between Men and Women

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This is not funny!


World HIV/AIDs Day, December 1

Throughout the world, over 40 million people are living with one of the most deadly diseases --- HIV and AIDS. It is likely that you know someone who has contracted the virus or who has already died from it. Because of the stigma of AIDS, one of my cousins, passed away several years ago in loneliness and isolation from our family. Without giving us an opportunity to say a loving good-bye to him, his mother selfishly had him buried far away from us. No one else, not even his father, knew what happened to him. It is a pain that I still carry and anger that I have yet to overcome with her. Not only did my cousin die a horrible death, he was also ashamed to disclose his homosexuality to the family. While I cannot fully understand how he must have felt, it was just another stupid attempt to conceal the obvious. I so want to say to him, "Hello cousin, tell us something we don’t already know." I would have hugged him and told him that we love all of him even if we don’t agree with his lifestyle. I just can’t imagine the pain and loneliness he must have endured. It was all so unnecessary. I know that my cousin probably wanted to save himself from the attempts to “straighten” him out. You know, he was definitely right about that. His choice would have wrought the same lectures heaped upon the “wayward” relatives whose chose to “live in sin” without the benefit of marriage. I love my family but some of their actions are as predictable as sunrise. All things considered, my cousin forgot how our family always has each other’s back. He forgot that we don’t always agree but we’re always family. What is more ironic is that he could have learned that he was not alone; there are other members of the family that are homosexual. What a sad end to a promising life. Don’t let HIV/AIDS break up your family and remember that no ever has to be alone. I love you, cousin. © 2005 VANESSA BYERS

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